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Several years ago, my sister had a telepathic experience with a blanket that belonged to one of her five small boys. She noticed that Child #4 was constantly carrying his blanket with him, even when he was pretending at sword fighting or excavating holes in the yard. It would be over his shoulder, and on the ground nearby, or tied about his waist, and she was concerned because he had really not shown such clingy behavior with a blanket before, and certainly not for some while.

She began to pray about it, and one day was surprised to hear the blanket tell her, through words in her mind, that it stayed with him on account that it didn’t like being in the dark in the closet…where he had put it more than once when he decided he was done with it. So it had asked to stay with him, and the boy had given it permission to tag along.

I don’t know whether the blanket itself was in some way afraid to stay by itself in the dark closet, or whether perhaps these were the boy’s feeling projected onto it. I do know this incident started a change in our thinking…for the better. It confirmed what I had always felt – that even “inanimate” objects deserve respect and compassion.

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January 24th, 2010 – Information Overload

This morning I had a conversation with the Lord about my inability to remember everything I’ve ever learned.

That may sound silly, but it’s a big deal to me. I hate the idea that I’ve studied and read and discussed and contemplated on thousands of subjects, and either can’t remember two minutes after what my conclusions were, or can’t remember that I even “met” the ideas.

The moment came when I knew that I couldn’t keep on in this way, and that I had to go to the Lord about it.

A friend helped convince me.

Stack of Books on Table in LibraryOld Tattered Books on a Shelf

A craving for knowledge. So much to remember, so little memory! I feel in love with so many topics, but they don’t seem to love me.

Riley Helps Me Understand the Problem

Riley had come by to help me find the root of my angst, and, after several minutes, announced, “You have a major block. It says, ‘Access is Forbidden.’

Just like a computer site, I thought.

“Yes,” he agreed.

I had already been dealing, moments earlier, with a physical aversion to touch, and we initially both thought that this block must have to do with this aversion. My body would not accept that it was okay to relax under touch – any touch, any type. This had naturally been a point of contention between my husband and I, and Riley and I had spent much time dealing with it already.

Now, it seemed to be a matter of course that I had planted this block about touch. But then Riley said, “It’s been there at least three years.”

Three years, I thought – shortly after my daughter’s birth. Did it then have something to do with physically healing from the pregnancy and birth? That did not ring true with my spirit. Did it have to do with a particular event, consciously forgotten by me? No, this was not so.

Suddenly, I knew: it had to do with information in general. Any information, of any kind, from anyone. This block was something I had planted in efforts to keep myself from becoming overwhelmed by information. The nature of this block explained perfectly why I could concentrate so far, and no more – not another thought, not another fact, not another sentence. The block was a self-protective measure.

The problem was, physical touch had automatically been locked into the category of “Too Much – Access Forbidden.” My brain and emotions were regularly loaded to the max, and physical touch found in me no resting place.

Riley double-checked all this against the Truth he felt from the Lord, and agreed it was so.

We went to Christ about it.

Christ Explains About Computers

As soon as we came within hearing distance (our spirits in close contact with the Lord, our minds’ eyes seeing our risen Lord as it were, physically), Riley said, “She has an information block. We don’t know how to rid her of it…or if it even should be gotten rid of.”

Christ tilted his head for silence and said to me, “Look at my eyes.”

“That is a hard thing to do, Lord,” I said, willing but feeling incapable.

“I know,” He said. “But do it.”

I did.

I found that I was barely able to let Him have my gaze. His gentleness, His wisdom, His worth and power pierced me through, but I hung onto His will and looked.

He said, “I didn’t mean you to remember everything. You weren’t designed to.”

I could accept this as truth, but my spirit was discomfited. “Then why, Lord, do I have this overwhelming desire to remember and know and be able to retrieve instantly everything I ever saw or read or thought…and am so frustrated when I can’t?”

He dropped his gaze from mine, releasing me to myself, then said, “I have put eternity in the heart of Man. This was My design. But you have a physical, temporal body. It isn’t meant to hold everything. One day, you will be able to know and remember more, but now is not that time.”

I felt disappointed, but ready to continue to listen.

He went on, “I am like the greatest computer ever able to exist – I have the most memory, the greatest capabilities. I can do anything that is allowed by Love, I know everything, I see everything, I hear everything, I remember everything. But you don’t – nor were you meant to. You’re like a small handheld computer.” I saw something the size of a Blackberry in Christ’s palm. “You are mine to use to store and retrieve and send certain information, but not everything.”

Flip Phone Small is big enough for God. I’m a small computer for God’s work.

I felt a certain comfort in knowing that I was indeed a tool in Christ’s hand – that I apparently had functioned correctly in being part of His plan for influencing the world.

“One of these days” – I knew He meant at His side, in eternity, after all His enemies were put down, and He was made in fact the true and forever King of Kings – “one of these days, you will be bigger; your physical body, your brain as it is now, your capabilities, will not matter the way they do now. In that day, you will be able to remember as you would like. But for now, you aren’t meant to be that full. There are certain things I have given you to remember, and the rest belongs to others.”

This was beginning to make comforting sense to me. I listened intently as He said:

“You are overfull right now.” What He meant was, You have squandered the capacity I gave you.

I asked, “Then how do I fix this? What can I do about it?” I felt as if I couldn’t change my desire to know, and couldn’t imagine being able to just let things go. I pictured reading great books on history and science and theology and the arts, and felt despair at having to forego any of that information.

Christ’s voice became very low, and so gentle, I knew He spoke a sorrowful rebuke: “You have never asked Me what things belong.” He paused. “You have never asked Me to fill you with what I want you to know.”

Aha! When I had asked Him, just last night, in what area I had tempted Him with my unbelief, He had said, “Your reading.” I hadn’t understood then, and though He had said that I hadn’t allowed Him to control it as I ought, I knew I hadn’t taken His meaning. Hadn’t I asked Him, Which book next? Hadn’t I paused frequently, meditating on what I read, asking, What would You like to do with this in my life?Yet He had said that I had shunned Him in my reading.

Now I understood.

I knew what I had to do. “Lord, would You please then delete the files that don’t belong? And restore or install those that should have been retained, and weren’t?”

Delight suddenly flooded His face. “I’ve been waiting so long for you to ask this,” He said.

I had given joy to my Lord! I had done it – I had pleased Him!

I had begun before now to feel as if I could do nothing but grieve Him.

He performed the deletions and installations in a few seconds, and while I felt somewhat scattered and flighty while preparing breakfast, I also felt at peace, and joyful – a truly rare thing for me. I felt as if I could learn to pay attention to the important things in life, like my husband’s thoughts, and my children’s hearts, instead of feeling too full to even think about anything beyond their physical necessities.

I knew I could go forward in life now, and that the block no longer said, “Access Forbidden”. It asked now for a password, and if a thought had Christ’s Name upon it, it would go through, and be of use to me.

 

 

As this article was originally published elsewhere, I include a few comments below:

I like the comparison of man to a machine, a gestalt created by and functioning on a more physical and concrete level. It seems to resonate with purpose, showing how human beings are creations free of mysticism and with a very real purpose.

Also, I can sympathize with you in wanting to know everything and retain it. There’s a story about my family back when it was called “Faith” in which a matriarch I’m directly related to was accused of witchcraft during the Salem witch trials. I believe she claimed she was guilty of the crime, and so was not put to death, but there was so much more to the tale that I can’t remember and my great-grandparents took with them to their graves. No one else knows. And I think it tragic in the extreme that it was lost.

Though I’ve had no encounters on the subject, my philosophy is that the burning need in me (and many of us) to remember was present from the moment of my creation, and therefore must be in God’s intent and with His blessing. I often think that we were given this need to remember something whispered to us at birth, something of great importance, and so we spend the rest of our lives in thoughtful forgetfulness, wanting to remember what advice God gave us.

But I could just be off my rocker. I dunno. 🙂 – Jarn

Jarn, that’s a beautiful thought: that God told us each something at birth (or before), and because it was so important, we crave to remember it with all our beings. I think this important whisper is probably what we would call our core Dream, or calling in life – the specific thing that God created us to do, which no other person can accomplish in the same way.

Or, it could be that He says: “I love you. I gave everything for you. I want you to stay part of my life. Please don’t forget Me.”

What do you think? – Me

Thanks for share your thought about this. I think you have good spiritual side. keep it up. – Prasetio30

Prasetio, you’re welcome, and thank you for the encouragement. – Me

ButterflyWings,

This was a lovely hub, and I thank you for writing it. The years go flitting by, and I think of questions I have had, of things I want to know that have never yet found a place in my schedule, and I think, too, of the years of eternity. I have had the distinct impression that some of those “years” will be spent in knowing and delighting in the things we could not take in here. Will I get to see Ireland, Scotland, and Romania then, if I never get to see them during this life? I do not know, but I do know that the Lord says that if we delight ourselves in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart.

I liked Jarn’s thought too, about the Lord whispering to us. – LiftedUp

LiftedUp,

I have wondered, if we were able to truly grasp what eternity means, and if we were able to understand how deeply the Lord wants us to enjoy Him and what He has made, whether we would be more apt to calm down and concentrate on fewer things.

I know I, like you, am looking forward to seeing places I’m not likely to get to visit in this phase of existence. And even if that’s not God’s idea of fun for me (I’ll have His thoughts fully then, I am convinced), I know I’ll be blown away by what He does have planned.

Thank you for reading. – Me

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Whenever I open a door or cupboard at the farm house, I have a distinct impression that I will see either a reaching hand or a lolling head.

Why? I don’t know.

This doesn’t happen with every cupboard, fortunately. The ones in the kitchen seem safe enough. But with most of the others, and the closets, it is a steady occurrence.

The closet in the upstairs west bedroom is the worst. There, I see a whole person standing among the boxes of clothes I’ve decided to save for further perusal. This figure is a tall male, lanky-armed, and he scowls down at me.

I must admit, I often fail to grin at him in a disconcerting way.

Another bad place is the hall closet, which actually shares a wall with the bedroom closet. The door knob is missing (stolen, evidently), and though I felt no extra presences while I cleaned that closet a couple months ago, each time I approach it now, I see a hand groping with slender fingers through the knob hole. It reminds me of the girl at the window toward the beginning of Wuthering Heights.

I would be inclined to conclude that it is the same spirit, ignoring the wall between the closets and working his tricks in both of them…except that the one figure is so obviously male, and the next seems distinctly female.

The lolling heads are another issue. I’ve seen them in several places, but especially in the hall cupboard (not the same as the closet), and in a large cupboard in the entryway. The don’t appear to be the heads of spiritually or emotionally strung-up persons…they just sit on the shelves, looking rather done-for.

As always, your theories or experiences with such phenomena are welcome to me. And if I find out more about these appearances, I will let you know.

As of May 2015, update is forthcoming. The male spirit isn’t such a bad fellow, after all, and he goes by Edward. 🙂

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November 18th, 2009 (Wednesday)

About Mist-Shifting (physical transference from one plane of existence to another). After explaining to Riley some days ago that I simply cannot take the risk of Mist-Shifting to foreign parts with him, on account of my family, he said that he could accept my answer, and though disappointed, was apparently was willing to wait. He admitted that he hadn’t been able to consider this from my angle, because he had learned long before he had a family, and didn’t know what he would do, if presented with the opportunity for the first time today. However, I explained that I very much wish to learn, but cannot yet risk leaving Earth (inter-region or at least inter-State would be preferable). He said OK, he understood and found this good, and would have to think where to start with me, to make the process more incremental.

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November 16th, 2009 (Monday)

During the night, Riley came to comfort and encourage and coach me, and for several hours, I made confessions of things unspoken, and went ahead and had some conversations that I should have had years ago, with the spirits of those whom I didn’t at the time wish to offend.

Riley came to help me through these personal failings, which were not of faith and were therefore sin, and which almost all involved not saying what was in my heart – instead speaking half-truths or lies, or nothing at all, which allowed the pressure of these unhad conversations to build in my body and clog my mind. Each victory caused a lull in the pain and muscle spasms, and I had much struggle not to give up and try to sleep. Each time I did, I was shaken awake by spasms, and Riley took hold of my heart and sometimes my hand, and the Creator showed me the next item to be dealt with, usually through a vision or symbol hanging in the air. Sometimes it was a face, sometimes a little action scene, sometimes a newspaper or picture clipping (once, with the text written backwards). After a long while, when my mental and emotional strength had almost gone (I was dozing between whiles), I realized that these “prompts” had turned from helpful to taunting, and had begun to represent areas of my life and relationships which I wish to improve, and, in some cases, was already working to better. I called the enemy’s bluff, and, with a thank you to Riley, shut down for the night, to work at getting whatever sleep I could.

Between episodes of conversation with others’ spirits, and gritting my teeth through pain (childbirth level), Riley mentioned repeatedly how aspects of what I was experiencing mirrored his experiences during torture. The pain was sensationally similar, the attacks were sustained in the same manner, the ability to silence me from talking was a key part of the process, and, while the collar was altogether more intense and horrifying to onlookers, this would eventually produce the same effects – the aim was to destroy my lungs, throat, stomach, and thoughts, as well as make me incapable of acting.

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November 14th-15th, 2009

After I went to bed, Riley asked if I was ready to see a picture of myself as I appear inside. I wasn’t sure what he meant, and sensed that he was about to show me something horrible, but answered that I wanted to know the truth. He shared a picture of an inhuman looking creature, lying spread-eagled in a dark, cold, stony place. The face was pulled into a huge grimace, unlike anything a human could produce. The skin color was grey,  wrinkled and dry, almost mummified. The limbs of the creature were starved, and there was no light coming from within the picture. The only light (white) shown from above, onto the figure, as from a spot light.

I asked how this could be me. Did it represent my soul? Riley said it was my spirit. Amazed, I asked how this could be so, as my spirit belonged to the Creator. How could that thing be associated with Him? Riley merely said it was so. I got the notion that this was how my spirit appeared to other spirits in their normal plane of existence.
Of course, all this got me wondering how to change and free the prisoner, but I was so tired, I slept, waking at intervals in the usual pain.

November 15th, 2009 (Sunday) –
I stayed home in order to pray and rest, as I had gotten almost no sleep the night before, and very little on the previous several nights.
Mid-morning, Riley came back and we continued. He said that the remaining problems stemmed from fear of my husband. This didn’t make sense to me, and I didn’t know how it could be, but I followed Riley’s lead, and went to lay down and get to work.

He immediately said that my problems had gotten to be above his head, and would I like to visit Seraphina, and receive her aid?

Riley said the tortured, grimacing spirit figure was bound by my perception of Will. I asked what this was, and he shared with me a picture of a large, furry animal, resembling a guard dog. It reminded me in spirit of the three-headed dog guarding the underworld. As I watched, the dog at first appeared like a pony-sized Rottweiler, then morphed into an equally large Doberman, then morphed again into something even larger, and broader than either breed, with dark, heavy fur – like a nasty, Burmese Mountain Dog. The eyes of the creature were hollow red, and I was left shaking my head, protesting that I didn’t see how this could be so, as I had never consciously perceived Will even remotely this way. I asked to be shown where I was in this picture, and I received a modified image, showing a girl in a white, ruffled, off-the-shoulder dress, crouching at the side of and a little behind the dog. She had her back to us, hiding her face, and looked afraid to move. The dog stood as if he intended to flatten and destroy anything that moved.

Mystified, I turned back to Riley, then asked to be shown how to solve this problem. I was shortly given a vision of a grave-like hole, very black. I realized, however, that it couldn’t be a grave, when I saw lying on the ground above it a lid. This lid was like that of a canister, meant to fit snugly, and had a giant-sized handle in the top. To the right of the hole lay a figure in white, but whether man or woman, I couldn’t say. I studied it, and decided it was wearing a wedding dress, or something equally symbolic of purity, and was therefore a woman. After another moment, I became sure it was me.
Riley said the hole represented my perception of Will’s past.
Nothing happened in this picture, and I was about to ask it’s symbolism to be explained, when a spasm shook me. Someone said, “What do you see?” I looked at the picture, and saw a shadowy blob of a demon come out of the hole, and fly over the girl in white. Seraphina asked, “Did it touch you?” and while I had to say no, I saw that it appeared to have dropped something as it passed over – perhaps a handful of stones.

Each demon caused a spasm. Some touched, others went around me, still others flew over. I was able to begin telling before hand what path they were taking in my body, and Seraphina was able to intercept several. As each one was expelled (combined effort), it “tore” me, as the Bible says of the young man. Some were too quick or surprising to tell before hand, and naturally, these caused the most pain and wonder.

Riley and Seraphina taught me how to keep form, and enlisted her husband to hold me down. He and Riley both had me focus on their eyes (an interesting thing to do in spirit, and quite unnerving anyway), and problems with my naval became apparent. (Riley told Seraphina’s husband that I am his sister…my wonder and joy over this to be told of.)

An “ant” line of spirits…subsequent crumbling of the edge of the hole…them falling back in to darkness and flame.

Next, a balrog-type spirit coming up on his stage or platform, then standing still a long while, before trying to step first toward me, then stepping toward Riley. Christ had come between the balrog and I, then threw power at it, bowled it over before it reached Riley, then kicked it into the hole and pulled shut double cellar doors. We rejoiced.

We dealt next with my naval, and the misplaced authority issue which had ensued with hospital personnel near the time of Billy’s birth.

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