I thought, after hinting at the conversations I’ve had with my home(s), I’d give some tips on how you, too, can command your home to get good results, and improve areas of clutter, misuses, constant dirtiness, or what have you.
First off, realize that your house is listening. It’s always listening. It knows what you and the other members of your family say about it, and it takes notes. Put simply, this means it reacts and responds to what you say. So if you say things like, “This place is always a disaster!” that’s what you’re likely to get. If you say, “Things always break around here” – boom! you can expect to see “everything” break. When Will or I speak like this, we soon have a light shade shatter, plumbing leak, or batteries go out in every flashlight.
You get what you say, most often.
Secondly, understand that you may not be able to fix everything with a command or comment, but that most things can be influenced. What this means is that, while you cannot normally expect the leaky doorframe to right itself just because you tell it to, you can expect things like recurring messes to lessen or cease. You can expect people (and even appliances) to take different attitudes. You can expect your house to stay looking nicer, longer, and to rethink old, possibly negative mindsets.
Thirdly, realize that your house has at least one mindset, right now, and you (and it) will continue to deal with this as long as you live together. Mindsets can be tricky things…many of us don’t even know we hold certain beliefs until something knocks us upside the head about them, and the same can be true of houses. For instance, my house was shocked to think that I wanted it to stay clean – that it was not desirable, or even permissable, for cat hair, sand, and wood chips to build up hourly on every floor, and for paper and other clutter to hide every higher surface.
As I stated in my previous post dealing with house conversations, you may be able to correct only some mindsets, or effect certain mindsets only so far. In fact, I think this is probably true of every house, as far as it’s original mindset is concerned. A house which is well built and intended to be cared for responsibly will probably not bow willingly to neglect, ignorance, and stupidity. Such a house will probably take much longer to wear down than one which was poorly built in the first place.
However, a house which has picked up a faulty mindset through misuse or foolishness can usually be corrected.
I’ll explain how to do this, but first, I want you to decide something for yourself and your house: What do you want of it? What do you need it to do for your family’s well being and prosperity? Which issues or areas are the most problematic? Why?
Got it figured out? Okay. Speak.
Yes, that’s what I mean, tell your house (and the items in it) how it needs to change. Tell it what you expect of it, and be specific. Take into consideration:
- Attitudes (both yours and the house’s)
- Clutter hotspots (whether or not they’re yours)
- Filthy spots or sections (regardless how they came there)
- Misused rooms or areas
- Anything else you know is a problem
Speak something like this:
“Chest freezer, you are no longer a place for clutter. You are to stay clean, shiny, and easy to use, all the time. I command your lid to stay clear of items, unless I tell you to hold something. You are intended for storing fresh foods, and this is needful and helpful to my family. Your job is important, and it is important that you stay convenient to open and use.”
I’m going to pick apart this command and explain why it is necessary to use that much detail. Why can’t you just say, “Freezer, stay clean”?
There are several reasons. Number one, you need to be clear on which item or space you’re talking to. In our case, we have three freezers of various sizes. Though you’re addressing one, they can all “hear” you, and it is best to address one at a time. They may not all have the same problems, and may not be able to be handled at one shot.
Two, if appearances are important, define what you expect. The house or item may not realize that it’s usually smeared with finger prints or grease, and may experience a revelation being told that it’s not clean. Define how clean you want it to be, and whether this is a one-shot deal or an ongoing expectation. Otherwise, you may find yourself repeating commands until you’re blue in the face, without lasting results.
Also, if clutter is a problem, define whether it is ever okay for an area to be cluttered, and if so, what sorts of items are allowable. In the case of the chest freezer I have in mind, it is near the front door, and tends to collect everything from groceries to Will’s construction bids.
Third, intentions can be everything. Even if it seems obvious to you, go ahead and state what the item or area is for. I went so far as to tell my freezer that it could seem styish, because I needed it to quit “slouching” in the corner of my living room (it’s the only place it fits). Immediatly, it perked up and looked visibly brighter, giving off a cheerful air I’d never seen before.
So tell the trouble item or spot what you expect of it. I detailed what sorts of foods we prefer to keep in this freezer, and made sure it understood it is helping my famiy by preserving these foods. It hadn’t known before that it was being useful, and its attitude changed upon my telling it how much it means to the well-being of my family.
So what spot needs your attention first? Ready, set, go.